Are You a Guiding Light For Others?

990108468_034Are you a guiding light for others? By that, I mean, do you encourage and help motivate those around you? Or do you pull them down?

An encourager says things like “good job!” when a task is done right. And when it isn’t, they say something like, “you made a great start, so now, next time if you just do this (whatever it is) you’ll get an even better result.”

An encourager can lift spirits. They can help a smile form. They can help a person feel better about themselves and the things they do. They can help to light the way for another; kind of like a lighthouse does for ships at sea.

But they do not make people feel bad or stupid. They don’t say things like “Are you an idiot or what? A two year old can do a better job than you can!”

They don’t make people feel worse than they did before you said anything to them.

So let me ask you, if you were in their place, what words would you like to hear…

I thought so:)

Are You Underestimating Yourself?

52f6afb4-cab5-4dea-8dd9-0b1dd4ffc4a0_0011Are you underestimating yourself? Are you underestimating your talents while overvaluing what others can do?

For example, maybe you’re a great interior decorator, and people, over the years have come to you for advice and everything you’ve told them has been exactly what they loved. You just have an eye for colors and fabrics and styles and, well you get the idea. In fact, you’re very creative. Many people have told you that you should be doing this for a living.

But somehow you don’t see it that way. You seem to think that anybody can do what you do. Anybody will know exactly how to decorate their own home or office. But then why do so many people come to you for advice no matter where you go?

You’re at the checkout line in the grocery store and you see your neighbor, and she has her friend with her. What’s the first thing she says? Oh, I’m so glad to see you. This is my friend Dave and he just bought a place a few blocks from us. I told him that YOU were the perfect person to help him decorate it! Hint… hint…

But instead you focus on your other neighbor who has a landscaping business. And you say to yourself “Now, that’s a talent! I wish I could create some of the designs that Larry can.”

Okay, Larry is talented but so are you. One is not better than the other. Larry has a talent for knowing how to create a beautiful garden with flowers; you create beautiful spaces using another medium. You BOTH are using your natural talents, but Larry has built a business around his. Hint…hint.

Don’t underestimate your abilities but instead use them to move forward in life.

He Didn’t Know Any Better

ab7909f7-319d-4e14-85f2-a242a858f7ff_0031In his wonderful book “You Are What You Think” author Doug Hooper tells us of a true story of two men; one owned a car dealership the other was an accountant Now this was at a time when the economy was a little slow and car sales were down, The other man, the accountant, had grown tired of his job and wanted to try his hand at selling cars.

Saying nothing, the dealership owner hired him because this guy really wanted a new job badly.

The next month the dealership hit an all-time high in sales. This man outsold all the other salespeople combined. And the reason?

He didn’t know the dealership was in a sales slump. While the other salespeople thought that anyone who walked in was there just to look, this guy assumed they were there to buy a car…and so he sold them one.

Think about it…

What is more important, the facts or what you perceive as the facts? We create our own reality.

It’s Just For You

990205258_011It’s just for you…your path in life. Yes, it’s all yours.

So don’t look around you and say things like “I should have gone to the same school as Marie,” or “I should live where Doug lives; why did I choose this place? Or “I should have taken that job in Chicago, like Gail did.”

You are not Marie. You are not Doug. You are not Gail. You are YOU, and a pretty darned good one at that. You have to follow your own path and besides, you can never really get inside the head of somebody else to know what’s really going on there. Maybe Marie felt that school left her flat. Maybe Doug isn’t all that happy where he’s living (maybe he thinks where you live would be better) Maybe Gail isn’t so happy when she’s battling the wind and cold in Chicago and wishes she took the job in Miami instead.

Be your own compass. You are a good fit for you and not twenty other people. Sometimes we look at others¬† and think to ourselves that their lives are infinitely more exciting and fulfilling than ours is. But maybe we’re wrong.

No one else can do “you” the way you can. You are the best at it:)

Be Nice!

3f1d385a-e90f-4d16-9321-d809fb5d2f6e_0025Be nice…okay, I know it sounds vague but what I mean is, when life presents you with situations where you may choose to scream and yell…stop for a moment and think- is this really necessary?

Let me give you an example. Yesterday i got an email from QVC (shopping channel on television for those of you who may be outside the US and not familiar with it) that told me I was getting a refund of three dollars from a Christmas tree I purchased. It seems the tree went on sale after I purchased it and they were sending me the difference.

The trouble was that I did not purchase a Christmas tree. We have eight cats so we have a lighted ceramic one we use. We gave up on trees (whether real or artificial) years ago. When I called customer service I got a woman who seemed very flustered; when I said I got an email all she said was “Was it about a Christmas tree?”

She went onto say a mass email had been sent by mistake to everyone who had ever ordered from them and please disregard it. I was polite and told her it was no big deal and thanked her. She said I was one of the nicest people she spoke to all day; most people were screaming at her.

There was no reason to get mad. Mistakes happen and it was not a big deal. No one charged me for something I didn’t get nor did I get an unwanted package at my door. There was no reason to get mad at this poor woman who didn’t even send the email in the first place.

So, the next time before you’re tempted to fly off the handle think to yourself “Is this the way I’d like to be treated?”

It’s a New One!

35920022It’s a new week and a fresh start. It’s a new week with a fresh slate wrapped up and handed to you by the Universe. I can hear it now saying something like “Hey, here’s a new day for you to start over and leave what you don’t want behind you; you don’t need to carry it around with you.”

And the Universe is right…as usual. You don’t need to carry yesterday around with you. You need your arms empty to collect all the bounty today and tomorrow will bring you:)

Do You Cut Yourself Some Slack?

334af351-cfa7-4852-9bce-330d7ad4104e_0010Do you cut yourself some slack…when you make a mistake or do you play it over in your head and talk about it every chance you get? Do you use it as a way to punish yourself and to bring yourself down? Do you even go over stuff that happened years ago and that everybody has forgotten about but you?

Is it really getting you anywhere? I mean it, has anything positive come out of all the grief you’re causing yourself because if there is well then I guess you should keep doing it.

But after careful consideration you’ll probably find that you really haven’t learned anything, that you really haven’t changed a thing by dwelling on all this and maybe it’s time to let it go? Maybe it’s time to realize that we all mess up from time to time and there’s nobody that’s perfect in this world? Maybe it’s time to give yourself a break? I think you should, what do you think, isn’t it time you were kinder and more understanding with yourself?

BTW, if you do find a perfect person please give them my phone number; I’d like to meet them;)

How Would It Be?

35920050How would it be…if just for one day even, you thought only of the best,¬† that you worked towards the things you want, that you were kind and patient with everyone you meet no matter how much they irritated you?. What if, even just for a day, you kept an even tone in your voice without screaming or yelling? What if you thought first before you spoke?

At the end of the day…how would it feel? Would you feel that you really accomplished something? Would you sit back with a smile on your face and tell yourself something like “I really kept it together today; I got a lot done.”

Do you think it would feel like you would sitting by this beautiful pool here, nice and relaxed; maybe a cool drink in your hand and letting the warm sun shine down on you?

Well, I have an idea…why don’t you try it and find out? How about tomorrow?

If You Focus On Your Strengths You’ll Never Go Wrong

35920025If you focus on your strengths you’ll never go wrong. If you concentrate on the things you are good at and enjoy doing you will build confidence along the way.

That confidence can help carry you through times where you may feel challenged. Just remembering the feeling you get when you are engaged in the things you do well can be a boost; a positive boost to help you delve more deeply (and successfully) into what needs to be done.

Draw from that feeling. it will open your mind to help you when you need it:)

Are You a Good Listener?

DSC01637_0050Are you a good listener? Or do you cut people off in an attempt to talk over them? Do you voice your opinion even when you haven’t been asked? Do you attempt to tell others how to run their lives when they confide in you; many times making them feel bad in the process?

Do you then wonder why fewer and fewer people actually want to have a conversation with you and sometimes go out of their way to avoid you?

What if you REALLY listened to what others had to say; completely and silently until they were done and then voiced your opinion only after being asked to do so? What if you realized that we are all different so what’s right for one person might not be a good fit for another; so telling people how to run their lives might not be such a good idea?

I bet that, if you did that, lots of people would want to talk with you and that lots of people would be there for you when you need a sympathetic ear:)