Yes, You Certainly Can…

b215a04d-4bf9-4535-88dd-877297f7b014_0012Yes, you can and you should… set boundaries, with the people in your life I mean.

Sure, you love your daughter but is it necessary to buy her everything she wants just to make her happy? You love your son but is it really necessary to buy him a brand new corvette when you yourself are driving a ten year old car with over 100.000 miles on it? You love your mother but do you really have to call her ten times a day because it pleases her?

Many times we cross a fine line with the people we love; we become enablers, and that’s not a good thing. No matter who the person is, to some extent they need to rely on themselves if they can.

Your daughter, the one who wants you to buy everything she sees either online or on television commercials is old enough to get an after school job, and there’s no better way to learn the value of a dollar than by having to earn it. Maybe when she sees how hard she has to work to earn that money she’ll start to appreciate the stuff she already has.

And the same thing with your son. Unless you’re driving a new luxury vehicle yourself and the cost of a new corvette won’t even put a small dent in your pocketbook, then he needs to pick out something reliable but not over-the-top. When he graduates school and is on his own he can buy whatever her wants.

And even your mother. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking and it’s something like “But she’s an old lady, Debbie and she needs me.” Okay, if she really does need you that much then she probably shouldn’t be living on her own; you might think about making some other arrangements. But I’m talking about the kind of person that has friendly neighbors who invite her to tea or to play cards, for example, and she always say no. She doesn’t want to make friends she just wants you to take off from work all the time to spend the day with her. She can walk, she can drive, she’s in pretty good shape (you saw her hoisting that twenty lb. bag of kitty litter over her shoulder last week) but she wants to monopolize your time. if you have the time to give her and you want to that’s fine, but how many days are you going to take off without pay (and you need it) just to take her to the mall after her neighbor next door tells you something like “I always ask Doris to come with us but she always says no.” If your mother gave it a chance she just might make some new friends; friends she has lots in common with.

You count in this world and so does you time so be careful with it; spend some of it on you and doing things you like to do; not being at the beck and call of everyone else.

Think about it.


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