It’s a wonderful thing to be kind and supportive of the people around you. It’s great to be there to lend a helping hand or a sympathetic ear. It makes them feel good; it makes you feel good and, most of the time it’s a real win-win situation.
But sometimes things can get out of hand.Like when your twenty one year old son doesn’t want to think about either going back to school or getting a job because he knows he can count on you to make his car payment. It was a nice thing to help him get a car (which he supposed to be using to look for work) but you’ve been paying the loan for a year now and he’s still unemployed. It was a great surprise for your wife when you bought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers just because you love her; but it’s not so endearing now that she expects you to bring her something everyday and gets into a bad mood when you don’t.
These are just examples, but I think you get the point I’m trying to make here and that is that sometimes you just have to say “no.” Or “no more.” Or “you need to get it yourself.”
Respect yourself. Even for the kindest person, if there comes a time when what you’ve done is not appreciated, then you have every right to revisit the situation and let the other person know it’s time to change. There is no shame in that. It will make it better for the both of you as time goes on.
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